It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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