so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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