omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize