I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
