why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
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Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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