this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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