There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
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there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
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I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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