I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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