Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
