so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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