Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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