Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
