my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
