so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
