how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
