"it" just moved
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
