cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
