it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
