Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
