frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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