remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
