i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
