dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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