also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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