Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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