One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
NoShamevember. You game?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
