I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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