I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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