so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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