8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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