okay pat passed out under dana's car
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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