my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize