I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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