that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
