apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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