Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
