well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
