This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
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