Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
