Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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