The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
