i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
