I am midnight drunk by noon
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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