Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
