Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
