I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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