he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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