She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize