I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
