...so i touched it.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
