Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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