Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
