i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize