drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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