Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
it glows. i had to have it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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