So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.