we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
When did angry sex become our thing?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.