There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.