I cockslap morals
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
