Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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