He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize