Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
