I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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